Matt Schenk.

pjresler:

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

In all honesty, have there really been new products at all lately?  I’m talking in the last two years.

But an iPod nano with a camera?

An iPod Touch without the same new features as the iPhone?

That’s just stupid.  Fire your ad-campaign manager, who is still airing those Mac vs. PC ads, fire your ‘new ideas’ guy, pay your head engineer more, and get back on planet earth before we lose you forever.

They’re getting lazy. I like how they have a big press conference to announce all of their new “innovations”.

“Hey look! The iPod touch is better cuz it’s got more storage…and it’s faster! :D And we put a camera on the Nano, so you can record your friends being drunken idiots in super high def VGA resolution! Oh and we made the screen .2 inches bigger.”

Not that I’m against these updates, it’s just that if they’re going to hold a big time press release every year they should be releasing something new and innovative. Or at least a redesign on their current products.

winteyfresh:

perfectdelirium:

willmccloud:

I’m not trying to step on any toes, and I will be the first to say: I AM NOT A HOMOPHOBE. My mom watches Ellen AND Will & Grace. However, as an educated christian conservative, I feel it is my duty to enlighten the people of the internet on why an EDUCATED PROFESSIONAL does not believe in gay marriage. Reason one: marriage has historically been between one man and one woman. Throughout history, in every culture, it has been the same for years. Up until recently, homosexuality was non-existent. Homosexuality is a recent phenomenon brought over at about the time of slavery (not saying it is a related, but it makes you think.) Speaking of that, reason two: gay marriage will spread the AIDS. The AIDS is a rapidly forming infection that is VERY EASILY transmitted during homo-sex. The AIDS is deadly, I know I don’t want my future children to be infected, so I stand proud as a non-supporter. Think of the kids! The future of America! Reason 3: gay marriage encourages homo-sex. The beauty of discouraging gay marriage is that it has been PROVEN (in multiple studies) to prevent homosexuals from having sex. The logic is: ”If I can’t get married, I obviously am not gay, therefore I will not have homo-sex.” It is basic psychology, ask any psychologist. Reason four: Okay, I know the libbers like Ellen like to make fun of this one, but it is fact. It is a slippery slope, folks (and no, I am not talking about lesdyke sex..lol) If we allow two men and two men to get married, who is to say it can’t be 50 men and a 13-year-old white girl? Who is to say it won’t be 2 guys, a girl, and a pizza place? This is a valid argument, because it is valid. I don’t want to bring God too much into this, because I am giving an educated response from a scientific POV (that is “point of view”), however, the good book said it itself when it proclaimed ADAM AND EVE, NOT ADAM AND STEVE. I don’t mean to offend anyone here, I just needed to get this off my chest and say my piece.

Omg xD you hilerious… but not in the good way… I’m so fascinated how stupid humanity can be sometimes… you made my day… And by the way… my opinion: God should “zapp” you whilst your having a shit. FYL (stands for: fuck your life (and whilst we’re at it: get your own and stop rulling over others!!!))

oh my god, I hope this person isn’t serious… “This is a valid argument, because it is valid.” this little guy must have slept through the majority of his life. who was Alexander the Great again? he CERTAINLY wasn’t homo at all. homosexuality was non-existent a few years ago? this “Alexander the Great” dude was most likely boinking a guy right now over 2000 years ago. go back to school. I could go on, and on, and on…

this makes me sad. :(

I’m pretty sure this guy was kidding. His other posts seem to be fairly cynical. Frankly, I think it’s hilarious.

I’ve noticed that almost all fat people act the same way. There are a few things about fat people that really piss me off that I will be discussing here. This might offend you, but whatever. I’m mostly talking about people in the 300lb+ range. Please note, I’m not angry at the world, it’s all in good fun.

Fattitude- Why is it that all people over a certain weight all have a pissy attitude? It’s as if they think the world is out to get them. We don’t hate you, fat people, we just want you to lose some damn weight. You know all of those starving children in Africa? Yeah, you equal about twenty of them put together. I think that fat people are pissy for a multitude of reasons: 1.) All of the fat on their head is compressing their skulls, thus pressing on certain areas of the brain that effects their emotions. 2.) They’re jealous of skinny people. You know, if you didn’t eat so much, you too would be able to comfortably sit behind the wheel of you car! 3.) They can’t see their penis/vagina. 4.) They haven’t eaten for A WHOLE TWENTY MINUTES. omg. 5.) They have food/toilet paper/a midget stuck in their fat rolls. Or 6.) They just soiled themselves. I think the worst thing about fat people is that they complain about being fat! They bitch and moan about it, then go have McDonalds for dinner. Oh wow, that’s productive.

Big is Beautiful- Really? No, Mrs. Chubbs, fat is indeed not beautiful. I don’t think someone that smells like three week old cream cheese can be considered beautiful. By saying that big is beautiful, you are actually just admitting that you’re too damn lazy to lose weight. “But people should love me the way I am!” Well yes, in a sense. They can love the person that you are on the inside, but not the outside. Unless someone has a fat fetish, then no guy or girl is going to want to do anything with you. Making out would be like shoving your face into a big, slobbering pillow. And please for the good of all mankind, if you’re a fatster, don’t wear tight clothing, no one wants to see that. Instead of wearing shirts that say “Princess” and “Sex Object”, you should be wearing shirts that say “Type II diabetes FTW”.

So what do I propose we do about this fat people problem? I have two solutions:

Fat Tax- Since a morbidly obese person consumes more food and drink in a day than a moderately sized Mormon family does in a week, we need to start taxing their asses! Police, fireman and medical personnel have to spend hours upon hours just getting a morbidly obese person out of their house. They do fun and exciting things like cut holes in roofs and walls, and use forklifts or cranes to retrieve them. How could you live with yourself if the only way you can get out of your house is via forklift? Remember back when you were a kid and you could use those wonderful appendages on the bottom of your body to move about? Yeah, your legs! What a fantastic invention those things were. But anyway, since our tax dollars pay for the policemen and firemen to retrieve these people, we need to tax them! If you are considered morbidly obese, then you will be taxed extra for being a strain on society.

Fat People Recycling- Now hear me out on this one. Since fat people use so many resources during their lifetimes, I think they ought to give back when they die. We can use their muscles and their organs to make high quality cow feed. Their fat can be processed into either oil or grease to be used on machinery. And their bones can be ground down and made into fat people China.

pumahawk:

and i really think i could care less.

holy crap i’m back in boise finally. indiana was a pretty fun trip if you like sitting around and over condensing yourself with family. and putt putt. glorious puttputt. never has minigolfing exerted my ability to sweat and increase my distaste for humidity and heat all in the same moment. curses you collection of putting greens with MORE THAT MEETS THE EYE.

now i get to go mow the lawn. but i’m not going to die of heat exhaustion. because boise’s sadly got NOTHING on the east. *fingers up*

now your tumblarity is 1 or something! you’re welcome!